Happy Birthday, Steve Martin!

Today is Steve Martin’s 73rd birthday, and to celebrate one of my favorite comedians, here are some of his best one-liners.

On Judging Others:

“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

On His Main Ambition:

“All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.”

There’s Good News and There’s Bad News:

“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”

If You Really Think About It:

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

On Comedy:

“We’ve had some fun tonight … considering we’re all gonna die someday.”

On Different Cultures:

“Boy, those French—they have a different word for everything!”

On Mankind:

“I believe in equality—equality for everybody, no mater how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”

His Type of Women:

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”